I walked past a man with a microphone in town last week. He stopped two women and asked them who aged better – men or women? I heard the women (at least one of them wore too much make up, not what you’d call subtle - I didn’t see her friend) answer that they thought women did, because ‘they make more effort, take more care of themselves’
Carrying on with my shopping, I continued to think about this (and I’ve been thinking about it on and off ever since) I don’t think this statement is true in any way. I think men and women age. That’s all. I think the only difference is that men are allowed to grey, men are allowed to wrinkle. They certainly do not seem to be judged as women are, for ‘letting themselves go’.
I believe that some women do make more of an effort to take care of themselves, and it’s good, surely, to work with what you have and to look after it. But there is a limit, isn’t there? You only have to look in the magazines.
As much as I can, I avoid them – OK, I might have a glance at the odd front cover from time to time in the supermarket, but I don’t read or buy them. They just convince you that you can have it all, and really you can’t. You still have to choose. Magazines make me unhappy. I’m sure I’m not alone. But even though I don’t read them, or look at their unrealistic, airbrushed, digitally enhanced pictures, I still feel that I want to look younger, or want, at least, not to look my age.
Falling into the trap, I scrutinise the mirror – looking (I don’t have to look hard) for new wrinkles, wondering about fillers – wondering if it’s wrong to save up child benefit to pay for it? I search for grey hairs, tweezers in hand, ready to pluck out what offends me (so far only one found, though there’s bound to be more).
It makes me laugh (but really I’m sobbing inside) when I shop for wine in Waitrose. The young things on the tills buzzing their managers (they are too young to serve alcohol themselves) to authorise the sale. All it takes, these days, is a quick glance to know that I am most definitely old enough to buy alcohol. It seems like only yesterday when just the opposite was happening – desperate to buy alcohol, we would send the oldest looking of our friends into the off licence while we waited to see if she would be served. Really, it’s been hardly any time at all and now, here I am, speeding towards 40 at an alarming rate.
But this is good isn’t it? I keep trying to convince myself that ageing is OK. It’s a sign that, as a human being, I’m a success. I’ve survived and I’ve aged.
Only, it doesn’t really make me feel better.
Monday 16 March 2009
Thursday 26 February 2009
Hairdresser
I like going to the hairdressers. I enjoy the hour or so, on my own, having a coffee, chatting about holidays or whatever it is we end up talking about. I like having my hair straightened and shiny (even if it usually rains or only lasts five minutes).
The one thing I don't like about going to the hairdressers is the head massage I get when having my hair washed. I find it very strange, a little creepy. No one ever asks if I want it done. They just assume I do. Of course, I never say anything, because it would sound a bit impolite, a little ungrateful.
Maybe, one of these days, I'll muster the courage to ask them not to. Especially if I get the same girl who recently washed my hair. She hurt.
Still, it took my mind off the weirdness of it all.
The one thing I don't like about going to the hairdressers is the head massage I get when having my hair washed. I find it very strange, a little creepy. No one ever asks if I want it done. They just assume I do. Of course, I never say anything, because it would sound a bit impolite, a little ungrateful.
Maybe, one of these days, I'll muster the courage to ask them not to. Especially if I get the same girl who recently washed my hair. She hurt.
Still, it took my mind off the weirdness of it all.
Wednesday 4 February 2009
banana bread
I have a moderately obsessive nature. Mostly, this is limited to the food I eat. If I like something, I tend to cook and eat it often.
I used to have a lovely recipe for banana bread (found on the internet), which I cooked lots. I later lost it.
Searching for another ever since, I've found some are good, others not so.
Really a banana and walnut loaf, I added glace cherries, too.
It’s still warm.
I used to have a lovely recipe for banana bread (found on the internet), which I cooked lots. I later lost it.
Searching for another ever since, I've found some are good, others not so.
Really a banana and walnut loaf, I added glace cherries, too.
It’s still warm.
Tuesday 3 February 2009
Caption from Sloth: The Mammal House: Castle Museum, Norwich
'This specimen still has an infant attached at one hairy breast'.
Monday 2 February 2009
Baldness
My three and a half year old daughter has a bald spot. Discounting vitamin deficiency (she eats well, a balanced diet, give or take the odd bag of chocolate buttons), I can only assume that it’s a result of her younger sister’s hair pulling antics.
The younger sister (almost two) has pretty much stopped this peskiness, but the hair is not there. We are wondering if it will return.
Today, after washing her hair, I surreptitiously parted her hair on the other side, hoping she wouldn’t notice. She didn’t.
We’re also hoping that her teachers haven’t noticed either.
When your child goes to school, it seems that not only everything your child does is noted, but everything you do comes under scrutiny, too.
Baby number three was born in September. This seemed to correspond with a change in mood at school for our eldest daughter. We, and the teachers, have been communicating via the contact book about this, trying to think of possible causes for this change. At Christmas, I spoke to one of the teachers in person, who suggested that she thought it was due to the arrival of baby number three.
Now, whilst I realise that any change in routine is unsettling to any child, our children being no exception (see above – hair pulling), I find it hard to believe that a small baby, who is clearly doted on by his biggest sister (second child is still having issues, but improving), can be causing all this disruption to her school day. The teacher said that sometimes at school she just seems ‘lost’ and 'doesn’t seem to know what to do with herself'.
I’m inclined to think it has more to do with the fact that she started school after the Easter holidays last year. She’d made some friends – all older (she wasn’t too interested in the children the same age). So when she returned in September, some of these children had moved on. Even though I had explained to her that some children were going on to other schools, she obviously didn’t make the connection. But then why should she? She’s a child. I don’t know if much was made of their leaving at school, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t say goodbye. She couldn’t have. When I asked her where they were, she told me she thought they weren’t at school because they were poorly.
So, really I’m not sure what’s caused all this. Maybe it is her brother’s arrival, maybe it’s the fact that she has experienced loss of some kind for the first time or maybe it’s down to her personality.
It worries me.
I want to find a reason, and I suppose, like any parent, I don’t want the reason to be anything we’ve done, though I have to accept the fact that it could be.
The younger sister (almost two) has pretty much stopped this peskiness, but the hair is not there. We are wondering if it will return.
Today, after washing her hair, I surreptitiously parted her hair on the other side, hoping she wouldn’t notice. She didn’t.
We’re also hoping that her teachers haven’t noticed either.
When your child goes to school, it seems that not only everything your child does is noted, but everything you do comes under scrutiny, too.
Baby number three was born in September. This seemed to correspond with a change in mood at school for our eldest daughter. We, and the teachers, have been communicating via the contact book about this, trying to think of possible causes for this change. At Christmas, I spoke to one of the teachers in person, who suggested that she thought it was due to the arrival of baby number three.
Now, whilst I realise that any change in routine is unsettling to any child, our children being no exception (see above – hair pulling), I find it hard to believe that a small baby, who is clearly doted on by his biggest sister (second child is still having issues, but improving), can be causing all this disruption to her school day. The teacher said that sometimes at school she just seems ‘lost’ and 'doesn’t seem to know what to do with herself'.
I’m inclined to think it has more to do with the fact that she started school after the Easter holidays last year. She’d made some friends – all older (she wasn’t too interested in the children the same age). So when she returned in September, some of these children had moved on. Even though I had explained to her that some children were going on to other schools, she obviously didn’t make the connection. But then why should she? She’s a child. I don’t know if much was made of their leaving at school, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t say goodbye. She couldn’t have. When I asked her where they were, she told me she thought they weren’t at school because they were poorly.
So, really I’m not sure what’s caused all this. Maybe it is her brother’s arrival, maybe it’s the fact that she has experienced loss of some kind for the first time or maybe it’s down to her personality.
It worries me.
I want to find a reason, and I suppose, like any parent, I don’t want the reason to be anything we’ve done, though I have to accept the fact that it could be.
Sunday 1 February 2009
beginnings
A friend suggested it was time blog again.
I agreed.
As I begin, I am wondering if I will be able to fill my page, or will I, instead, fill my days with blogging rather than domestic duties?
I agreed.
As I begin, I am wondering if I will be able to fill my page, or will I, instead, fill my days with blogging rather than domestic duties?
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